So, I'm still feeling really down. Well, mildly really down, not 'there's no hope in the world my life sucks why don't I just end it all' down, but 'Oh poos... I don't want to get out of bed... I'm just going to cry about it' down. Now, I think I've mentioned this before, but ever since I had that brush with depression about 4 years ago, I am terrified of any mood like this that lasts longer than a day or two. Terrified. So, although I've only been feeling bad since the weekend (so, almost a week now), I am taking action. Exercise will be done, friends will be chatted to, and multi-vitamins with B-complexes will be taken. Screw you, low mood - you will not win!
In other news, tonight I have a date with some zombies. Well, two dates, actually. 1st date is using my zombie phone app to do some walking/running (I'll try to run a bit, better depression fighting chemicals that way). 2nd is playing some more of The Secret World. I haven't gotten very far yet because I restarted with a new character because I wanted to use swords instead of a gun and I didn't want to waste my starting points.
Also, I lied. I'm not sorry. I'd do it again. I told Mr. B I want to go to the bank, so could I please leave work at 2pm (it's another one of those 'there're three people in the office and no kids at all' work days). He said sure, so now I get to go home early and have a slightly longer weekend. Win!
And tomorrow I'm going out with Amy in Seoul to see a show, which hopefully will be awesome. I'm forcing myself to go, as really I just want to stay home and sleep, but I need to go. Sunday can be sleep and play the computer day.
You'll notice there's a distinct lack on Andy in this weekend's plans. That's because he's doing some weird, unexplained, pulling away thing. For the first almost two months I saw him pretty much every day, now this week I've seen him twice in 8 or 9 days. It's confusing and hurtful, but he is proving to be rather difficult to discuss this kind of stuff with. So the current plan is that he can do whatever the heck he likes and I'll live my life happily (I'm working on it, ok?!) without him, and he can come back if/when he wants to. I'm torn between 1) trusting that he's a good person who is just working through issues of his own; and 2) telling him to go fuck himself for abandoning me when I need him. Sadly, because of my impaired mood and brain function, I don't trust myself to be reading the situation correctly and I don't want to make a mistake.
Bah! Anyway, only two hours until I can go home and play with Zombies!
P.S. it actually did rain today :D
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