This is a bit of a sucky Monday

As far as Mondays go, this one is not very good.

But, only 4.2 days of my crappy job to go. Today is a testing day (same as tomorrow and Wednesday) and they made me 'monitor the corridor' for 45 minutes. I was like "what am I looking for? What do I do if something goes wrong?', cos I had no idea what I was there for. Mr B. was just like 'Oh, just walk up and down the corridor. Dream your dreams and stare at the sky' (actual quote!!). Ooooookaaaaay. Well, that was simply freaking awesome because the first thing you want to do when you've just had your heart broken is spend 45 minutes in a cold corridor with only your own insane mind for company. It was super. Not.

Haha, I'm ok. Really tired, but ok. 

I'm pretty sure Mr. B. is preparing the recording equipment for doing the listening test recordings. He hasn't said anything about it to me. He did come up to me with my e-ticket this monring though, really confused. He pointed to the date of my flight back to NZ, and is like "is this this-week Friday?". It clearly says '17Oct' where he is pointing. I'm like "no, that's the 17th of October. Next Wednesday", and he goes "Oh! It's the date!". Yes, Mr. B. it's the date. He seemed a bit confused that my job was ending on Friday but I wasn't flying out until the following Wednesday. Originally it was so I had enough time to get my visa sorted, but now... I think it's just wasted time. I'm not even sure I'll bother switching to a D10 now. What is there for me in Korea without Andy? Attractions I've mostly seen, food I've mostly tried, and jobs that don't really let me teach like a real teacher. With him it was fun and exciting, but without him, it just seems kind of bleak. If I have to go through all the emotional crap of breaking up with him, I might as well go through the emotional crap of changing countries at the same time. You know, two for the price of one sort of thing.

So, might just go home, recover, and try a different country. Maybe somewhere European. I'm feeling so emotionally exhausted though, that nothing sounds good. I know I can't stay in NZ, but the thought of having to go somewhere else new and unknown and try to figure it all out - just sounds more exhausting! I definitely need some recovery time. I'm confident my passion and energy will come back if I just take a little care of myself. Two women from my CELTA course have found work in Valencia (in Spain) and from their Facebook photos, it looks simply gorgeous. Inspiration, maybe.

So, I sat outside at lunchtime today. I managed to eat some potatoes at lunch (first food in 40 hours... need to start eating). As I sat in the sun mulling things over, I realised that this is perhaps a completely appropriate end to my time in Korea. Or at least what they call a 'symmetrical bookend'. How did I start my time here a year ago? Wasting days in Seoul to begin with, then feeling sad, sick, and had no appetite  and being sad about a boy while sitting on the school steps in the sun. Now, a year later, the boy has changed, but the rest is the same. I'm not sure if it's funny or depressing :) I mean, have I learned nothing? Well, yeah I have. I learned to hang in there because it gets better. It gets big-time better :)

Now, here is a teacup pig. That should help cheer me up :)